Greetings Grasshopper!
There are creatures lurking in the shadows of the entrepreneurial world. Nasty, sneaky little things that slip into your inbox, whisper poison in your ear, and make your skin crawl with their manipulative tactics.
I'm talking about goblins.
Not the cute, misunderstood kind. I'm talking about the Three Goblins of Bro Marketing - the most vile, stomach-churning creatures ever to infest the entrepreneurial landscape.
Meet Our Enemies:
🧌 Freak-Out Fred (artificial emergency creator)
This greasy little goblin loves nothing more than screaming "ONLY 3 SPOTS LEFT!" while frantically waving his favorite weapon: a countdown timer. He feeds on your anxiety and grows stronger every time you feel that sick flutter of artificial urgency. His favorite trick? Making you believe that missing his "limited time offer" will ruin your entire business forever.
What a load of goblin droppings. 💩
🧌 Gaslighter Greg (turns your "no" into your personal failure)
Oh, this one's particularly nasty. Greg slides into your DMs with messages like "I'm disappointed you didn't take action... I guess you're not serious about your business." This manipulative little monster weaponizes shame, making you feel broken for having boundaries. He whispers that saying "no" means you're not committed enough, not hungry enough, not worthy enough.
I'd like to feed him to a dragon. 🐲
🧌 Parasite Paul (feeds on vulnerability)
The most predatory of the bunch. This vile creature circles entrepreneurs like a vulture, crooning "I can sense you're struggling... my $5K course will save you!" He targets people at their lowest moments, when they're most desperate and least able to think clearly. His specialty? Making money off misery while pretending to care.
Absolutely revolting. 🤮
Here's the thing about these goblins:
They've convinced an entire generation of entrepreneurs that this is "just how marketing works." That you HAVE to use fear, guilt, and desperation to make sales. That authentic, respectful marketing doesn't exist.
Lies. All lies.
Every time you feel that sick knot in your stomach reading a sales email... every time you close your laptop because the "marketing advice" makes you want to shower... every time you wonder if you're cut out for business because you refuse to become a goblin yourself...
That's your inner compass working perfectly.
You don't need to become a monster to build a business. You don't need to manipulate, pressure, or prey on people's vulnerabilities. You don't need to sacrifice your soul for your sales.
You need independence.
Independence from goblin tactics. Independence from bro marketing. Independence from the lie that says "this is just how it's done."
And that's exactly what we're declaring this Friday.
I'm hosting Independence from Bro Marketing Day on July 4th at 10am Central at the Come Write Inn tavern. It's a special 2-hour event where we'll not only celebrate our freedom from these toxic tactics, but I'll walk you through setting up First Draft Ninja™️ (free 14-day trial for all attendees) - a tool that helps you create authentic content without selling your soul.
It's time to crate those goblins and send them back to whatever marketing hell they crawled out of.
You with me?? Smash the button below!
I'm off to drill (tiny) air holes in crates,
RJ 🥷🏼❤️🤖
Recipe From Resurrection Roast
(the coffeeshop inside the Come Write Inn):
Frostbite Elixir
2 parts butter rum extract, 1 part peppermint extract
Dark roast, Agave sweetener
Tantalizing Description:
Balance your wild side with the earthy richness of butter rum and the chill of peppermint. This blend transforms you from beast mode to 'best mode' faster than you can say 'wild shape.’